theFutonPoncho

Elaine Davidson Guinness Record Most Pierced Woman

Paddy Wallbouncer — Wed, 21 May 2008 14:07:47 +0000

Elaine Davidson Guinness Record Most Pierced Woman. This photo is listed as one of the most oft emailed pictures on yahoo recently. The picture was taken in Edinburgh Scotland where Ms. Davidson shows off a few of her five thousand nine hundred and twenty (5920) piercings!

theFutonPoncho wonders “how do you sleep at night?”

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Guy Forces Wife to Dress in A Garbage Bag?

Paddy Wallbouncer — Tue, 13 May 2008 03:18:42 +0000

Guy forces his wife to dress in a garbage bag for the next three years. Yes, can you believe it? Guy forces wife to dress in a garbage bag (for three friggin’ years!) Then he posts pictures with a background French accented heavy breathing theme music. I can just hear the wailing now..

Deep male voice slowly: sheri, see voo play da la cafe in la chaams eel ezaaay…

She responds deliberately: Garbage Bag…

How do we find these things on the internet?

GuyForcesHisWifeToDressInAGarbageBagForTheNextThreeYears.com

Why not dress her in theFutonPoncho? - coming soon in the tshirt section.

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Oksana Pasha Grishuk Pictures GBH Date Rape Drug

Paddy Wallbouncer — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 21:47:16 +0000

Pasha Grishuk Holds Olympic gold medals from the 1994 and 1998 events. Now 35, living in Southern California, a half of a dissolved GBH pill was discovered in her drink at a California Hotel. Pictured here is Oksana with her 1994 skating partner Evgeny Platov

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I may have found Stacy Peterson’s Blue Barrel?

Dave Gitride — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 19:56:56 +0000

I may have found Stacy Peterson’s Blue Barrel? This story submitted by Dave the Gitride.com guy

I ride the Grand Illinois Trail. I do it almost every day -weather permitting. The Illinois and Michigan Canal joined Lake Michigan with the Illinois River and eventually to the Mississippi river in the mid 1800’s. By some accounts, the I&M canal made Chicago the Midwest trade center that it is today. As the railroad took over as the preferred means of transportation, the trail fell into disrepair. In the last couple of decades it has been rediscovered as a nature preserve and has a bike path that follows it almost the whole length (at least 70-80 miles of it anyway.) Along the path it would not be uncommon to see geese, beavers, woodchucks or deer. It is truly an Illinois prized possession and best kept secret.

It’s normal to see something that was deposited from decades ago; remnants of tractors, oil tanks, cars in their rusty remains but to see a bright shiny blue barrel is just simply out of place. Maybe someone was putting on a joke and left this blue barrel out there, but it would appear that it has been out there for a while and the overgrowth of the local fauna could have concealed it.
The barrel is located about half way down the trail between the map stand off McClindon Road and the Dresden Mule Barn. If you look towards the Des Plaines River you can see it plain as you can in the ledad picture. This is just downstream from where the police were hunting a few months earlier.

I thought I would do the right thing and call this into the police. It seemed like nobody wanted to talk to me!

Knowing it is probably not the right office, but that they could point me in the right direction, I called the Joliet Office of the State’s Attorney James W. Glasgow. They suggested I call the Joliet Police. I called the Joliet Police and explained that I found this blue barrel and they said I would have to talk to the County Sheriff. They gave me the number for the Sheriff, I called them and gave them the information; after which they told me it is a State Police issue, and gave me the State Police number, but the number they gave me was the emergency number, so I had to make my fifth call to the State Police’s non emergency number. The non-emergency number was a recording. I had to wait for the recording to finish before I got a live person on the line. I told that person the information, and then she said she would connect me with the Stacy Peterson Hotline. At the Stacy Peterson Hotline, I recorded the story and left a number on which they could call me back. I don’t think they really need to, since I had rehearsed the story five times with the other law enforcement operators in the moments before. I don’t think this blue barrel will really lead to anything but …you just never know…

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We Found the Jesus Christ Formula

Paddy Wallbouncer — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 11:47:41 +0000

theFutonPoncho staff have been scurrying in feverish preparation for the events surrounding the Chicago Cubs Home Opener, so please excuse the neglect. We’ll be back sometime next week. In the meantime, we thought it was important to let you know that we’ve discovered the Jesus Christ Formula, and thought you might like it too. Here’s the link.

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