theFutonPoncho » Law

Prison Terms for Eye Exams

Paddy Wallbouncer — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 15:19:09 +0000

theFutonPoncho may be gear to wear when your head is in the air, but it might also be something you put on to shield you from the outrageousness of everyday life in America. Everywhere you turn, laws are being enacted to “protect us” from the outside world. Has anyone thought to take into account how are they going to enforce all these laws?

Illinois legislature recently passed a law requiring parents to have their children pass an eye exam before they are allowed to attend school. The wording on the street is that optometrists are “worried” about a summer rush of customers. Worried my ass. They’re licking their chops at all the new business. There is no doubt that having an eye exam for children is the right thing to do, but creating laws to require it? Doesn’t that seem a bit excessive? What’s next? Water boarding for no-breakfast infractions?

Some guy marches into cell block A carrying his toothbrush and blanket in front of him. wolf whistles and screams of your “you’re my bitch” are heard from the not to distant row of second floor cells. He gets into his cell and his new roommate Bubba asks him what he’s in for.

“Don’t mess with me man,” he says, “I’m a habitual offender” Which is true since he’s been busted three times for smoking in a bar, child neglect for eye exam infractions, failing to wear a seatbelt on a two mile ride to his local grocery store, and not wearing a helmet when he rides his motorcycle. Bubba backs off, “Man… you’re cold blooded.”

We’ll keep you informed of this and other entertaining news.

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Businessman Sues for Lapdance Injury

Paddy Wallbouncer — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 00:33:20 +0000

Oh Baby -thank you Stephen Chang. You just helped us identify another possible recipient for theFutonPoncho award! Mr. Chang was at Hot Lap Dance Club near Madison Square Garden when the stripper swiveled and smacked him in the face with the heel of her shoe. The Associated Press contacted the manager of the Hot Lap Dance Club who said he was unaware of the accident or the lawsuit.

That stripper might have mis-stepped but where was this guy’s head anyway?

We’ll keep you informed of this and other entertaining news.

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Craigslist.org Not Liable for Illegal ads

Paddy Wallbouncer — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 21:32:25 +0000

In a return to common sense, a federal appeals court has found that Craigslist is not liable for discriminatory housing ads posted on its site. A group of Chicago lawyers sued the website because some of the ads contained on the website included notices that discriminated against minorities. A three judge panel of the Seventh Circuit of the U.S Court of Appeals said simply: Craigslist is not a publisher of these ads in the same way a newspaper would be. They said, “the website is more like an intermediary carrying information from one person to another and therefore is not liable for its content”

Judge Frank Easterbrook said the attorneys “cannot sue the messenger just because the message reveals a third party’s plan to engage in unlawful discrimination.” He went on to say the attorneys could identify those landlords with discriminatory ads and refer them to their state’s attorney for prosecution.

Viacom currently has a billion dollar lawsuit against youTube’s owner Google.com for allowing copyrighted content on their site. This decision will undoubtedly weigh in precedent for this and other cases like this.

We’ll keep you informed of this and other entertaining news.

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Story source: Reuters

Baltimore Cop Beats Skateboarder Kid

Paddy Wallbouncer — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 16:24:02 +0000

Ever wonder what Cartman will do when he grows up? Actually this guy is an insult to cartman. Respect my authori-tay. Watch the whole thing it’s amazing. He physically abuses a 14 year old skinny kid. The video was released and the cop was suspended. He needs to be fired and not allowed to be in any public enforcement capacity. He might do well in Iraq, but even then, would you want a guy like this representing you in a foreign country?

Get this. the Baltimore Cop has been suspended with pay. With Pay! Let’s see, hmmm… Go to academy, become a cop, beat up little kids, and get a paid vacation for the effort. The level of abuse we allow at the hands of authority in this country is amazing. Lock the guy up in a high security prison for a few weeks with pay -and cut off his doughnut intake -the tubby fag…

Kudo’s to the kid who had the presence of mind to shoot the whole thing.

Saudi blogger Fouad Al-Farhan detained without Writ

Paddy Wallbouncer — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 15:17:30 +0000

If you live in Saudia Arabia, and you are going to say something ~~controversial~~ ~~slightly off-beat~~ about anything, you might be well advised to be wearing a futon poncho while you speak. In a report by CNN correspondent Mohammed Jamjoom explained that Fouad Al-Farhan was detained without reason for questioning by the Saudi government. Jamjoom reported that Saudi Arabian publishers have little to say about the arrest but English speaking publishers are calling for his release.

Could it be that those Arabic bloggers know Fouad is preaching a message of destruction and terrorism, criticizing the government for some sort of ineptitude, or is it that the rest of the blogging sphere in that part of the world is concerned that any support that they give might result in the same action against them?

The pen is of a little less danger to the flesh than a sword, but it’s might can still land you a cell in just about any country, if what you say borders on a call to some sort of illegal action. Is this what Fouad is responsible for? Will we ever know? The problem is the only people who could answer this question are 1.) those folk who are regular readers of his rants, or 2.) the government that has detained him for questioning.

More to the core of the controversy is that Fouad has been detained without a publicly stated reason. In common law countries like the United States, the United Kingdom etc., we expect that we will know for what reason we are being held or charged. This fundamental human right is called a Writ of Habeas Corpus, and Fouad seems to have been denied this. The Saudi Arabian legal system is based on the sharia, or Islamic law. It is worrisome to believe a religious structure would deny something similar to Habeas Corpus.

Undoubtedly his messages have been taken “off-the-air” so an impartial review would be difficult. A view from his readership would be tainted; and obtaining a straight answer from the government will always be suspect. Spy movies, the CIA, and Jason Bourne teach us to expect some undermining secret plot to cover the black-hand dealings of the worlds governments, especially those that are not popularly elected.