theFutonPoncho » Holidays

Paddy’s St. Patrick’s Day Corned Beef and Cabbage

Paddy Wallbouncer — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 19:11:43 +0000

St. Patrick’s Day is Monday March 17th 2008. St. Patrick is the Patron saint of Green beer and Chicago River Coloring. With an editor who goes by the name Paddy Wallbouncer, you’d expect that theFutonPoncho would probably be one of the best places in the world for a recipe of Corned Beef and Cabbage. Use the bookmark icon at the end of the recipe to save this page for your St. Patrick’s Day entree:

What you’ll need:
4-5 lbs. corned beef brisket flat half boneless.
1 large head of cabbage
1 garlic clove,
1 bay leaf
½ teaspoon peppercorns

1. Start Three and a half to four hours before serving time. This will make 16 separate 200 calorie servings.

2. In an 8 quart Dutch oven place beef, garlic, bay leaf, peppercorns, and just enough water to cover the meat. Heat high until it just starts to boil then back off. They key to a nice cooking is to make sure you do not boil the meat, but keep it just below the boiling point. Leave it at this simmer temperature for three to three and a half hours, add water as necessary.

3. Remove the Meat and keep it warm in a separate pot

4. Cut Cabbage into wedges and add to the Dutch oven and turn the temperature t o high. Just when the water starts to boil, reduce heat and simmer for one half hour.

5. Serving: take a large warm platter and arrange the cabbage on it, then slice the beef onto this platter and serve.

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Yosemite Camping Reservations

Paddy Wallbouncer — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 17:13:11 +0000

If you want to stay in Yosemite National Park (pronounced yo!-sim-it-tea) this summer you better get on your PC right now and make reservations or you might end up just driving through. The National Park service reports that over 3.63 million people visit Yosemite with one million of them coming in July and August. Because the valley is about 3000-4000 feet deep, NPS suggest you use a shuttle bus. It reduces the emissions that linger in the park. Entrance to the park is $20 by car and $10 by foot or motorcycle.

Yosemite is one of the United States top national parks and is a must see for both Americans and foreign tourists alike. If you’re a camper, you’ll appreciate Camp 4. If you’re lucky enough to get a spot there, you’ll likely be sharing a site with a world class rock climber as Half Dome and El Capitan are two of the most famous climbs that any climber could have on their resume.

And don’t stop at the valley! Tuolumne Meadows (pronounced Toe-walla-mean) is in the upperlands of Yosemite at about 8600 ft elevation is equally beautiful and a lot less crowded. You’ll appreciate the views that the variety of events and outdoor activities in which you can get involved.

Get more information at the United States National Park Service Official Website: http://www.nps.gov/yose.

We’ll keep you informed of this and other entertaining news.

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Photos courtesy United States National Park Service

Punxsutawney Phil Groundhog Day Rant

Paddy Wallbouncer — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 17:37:48 +0000

February 2 is Groundhog day. If Punxsutawney Phil sees his shadow, then there’s six more weeks of winter. If he does not, well then what? Winter is over? –and what is with that? Do woodchucks even look at their shadow? What if Phil comes out of his hole and is facing the sun? He won’t even see his shadow. Does it count then? Top that with the fact that we have never seen a primer on Woodchuck Speak. Is it a series of clicks or something? Morse code?

Let’s get past the “Who speaks woodchuck” debacle to the next question. Did you feed your woodchuck this winter? Is he a happy woodchuck? Was the wife
nagging him last night? How do you know that Punxsy Phil would even give you a straight answer? “click-clickclick, clickclickclick-click” he might say, leading Groundhog authoritarians to believe he didn’t see his shadow when he really did. Then what? If Phil lied about the alleged shadow-spotting just where does that leave us? And who in Punxsutawney Pennsylvania is doing the fact checking? What if it is Phyllis that pokes her head out of the hole?

Six weeks would put us at March 21st. Which, by the way, is exactly 10 days before the Cubs Home Opener in Chicago -and if you are in Chicago, you know that it doesn’t matter whether Punxsatawney Phil sees his shadow or not. It will still be winter here. We’ll will keep you informed of this and other entertaining news.

Common mistypes: you really have to look this one up to get it right: punxsatawney, Punksatawney, punxsatawney, punsatawney, puksatauney, pucksatawney, pcuksatany, puoghsatouney Fil, Fhil, morris code Pensylvania, pennsilvania.

Tragic Christmas Accident Kills Elderly Woman

Paddy Wallbouncer — Tue, 25 Dec 2007 14:51:33 +0000

Grandma Adams was killed walking home early Christmas morning. Contrary to initial reports, Grandma -a recovering Alcoholic, had no eggnog prior to the incident

The Driver of the sled vehicle; The Great Santini Clausson, blamed the accident on out-of-control reindeer. “When we left the house, they just headed in every direction South.” Claus said, “I always knew something like this could happen.”

Clausson confirmed that recent news leak that all the Reindeer were female. “Male reindeer shed their antlers in the autumn, but the women don’t.” Santini did his best to hide the closely guarded secret, but the cross dressed Vixen exposed herself by squatting a “number one.” Apparently there were some young bucks flying in the area that Santa’s reindeer were oogling at the time of the crash. Claus seemed distracted at their promiscuous nature, often scolding his animals with a hearty Ho-Ho-Ho.

There’s never an upside to a story like this, but Clausson (who regularly has to work on Christmas Eve) explained that most of his stops had already been completed. “We were making our final coal deliveries, but I am sure those deliveries won’t be missed.”

Reindeer Donner and Blitzen were held for questioning.